the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize