Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize