ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
zippers are such a cool invention
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize