Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
