four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
