Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
