I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
