For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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