The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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