why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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