I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
