Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
