I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
