Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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