I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize