it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize