Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
