Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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