Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
