Ambien. No doubt about it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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