i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
