Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
