you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
