So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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