As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
