Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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