maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
