we have pet lesbian snakes
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
