Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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