We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
