This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
