they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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