It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
