just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
