At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i now understand why vodka
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
