If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
