meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
