I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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