I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
