Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize