So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
