VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
