Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Less talking, more tequila
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
