his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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