you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
