1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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