I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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