In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
