lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
