When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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