dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
