dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
