Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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