i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize