So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i drank out of a bidet.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
