I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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