Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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