So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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