I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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