Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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