I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so let's talk penis.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
