every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
operation harelip BJ is a go
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
